just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
