We're facebook friends in real life
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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