Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
