Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Randomize
