he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
