Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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