If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
