Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
