You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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