He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she smelled like a LAN party
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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