i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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