I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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