Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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