Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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