found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
