oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
