I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
