Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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