I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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