His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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