She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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