And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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