I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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