That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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