u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
