I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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