were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize