Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Rumble strips road head = magical
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
