I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
