I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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