I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you win again, gameday.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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