Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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