So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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