Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
