Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just tell him i said nine months
I look better un-naked...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
