So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
