I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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