who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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