That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
