i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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