if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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