I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
