Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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