all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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