I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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