definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
