If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We got so high we made milksteak
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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