I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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