when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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