Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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