Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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