I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize