Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
