Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Your topless pictures make me question reality
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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