Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
