Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize