okay pat passed out under dana's car
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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