i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
