69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
