dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
