I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize