He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
