She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
