remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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