whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
