sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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