My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
