everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Can I color on your dick again?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
