if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm like, not good at living.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
